As Crónicas do Pepezito: novembro 2009

Shiny Suds

Jason Segel Performs Song with Once Musicans The Swell Season

Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) joined The Swell Season, Irish musician Glen Hansard and Czech singer and pianist Markéta Irglová (you know, the musical artists from the indie musical Once) on stage at The Wiltern in Los Angeles on November 18th, 2009. Segel joked that the movie Once beat out the Dracula Love song from Forgetting Sarah Marshall at the Academy Awards due to Hollywood “politics.”

Segel performed a song which involved asking college girls in the audience, interested in having sex with him, to call a phone number - 315-329-6673. And yes, it is a real number. Women who call the number are given an email address to contact him (helptronics@gamil.com). Apparently Segel performed the same song, with few lyrics changed, at a Maroon 5 concert earlier this month. Watch a video of the performance after the jump.

Here are the lyrics from the New York performance of the song:

It don’t take long
for this old man to form a habit
and I know some of the things I do, they just ain’t right

So tell me would it be wrong
for me to use my celebrity status
to make love to a college girl tonight

1-315-329-6673
But only call it if you need me
315-329-6673
But only call it if you need me
315-329-6673
But only call it if you need me

Now I know you’re charmed
by my lovely on screen persona
yes sweet and humble that’s always been my carreer

But wouldn’t it be a shame
for you to miss this one time offer
to make love to Jason Segel freshman year

Please don’t be scared
if you’ve got bicurious feelings
I promise baby I won’t ever tell

So bring a friend
to my swanky Manhattan hotel room
I’ll be me, you can be Mila Kunis and Kristin Bell

Remember when I was in that show
Freaks and Geeks
Well there were no special effects
No, no special effects
So if you thought I was sweet
well yeah I’m really that sweet

Remember when I showed my penis in
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Well there were no special effects
No, no special effects
So if you liked what you saw
well that’s really what I’m working with

1-315-329-6673
But only call it if you need me
315-329-6673
But only call if you’re disease free
315-329-6673
But only call it if you need me

Remember when I showed my penis in
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Well there were no special effects
No, no special effects
So if you thought it was small
if you thought it was small
well then your boyfriend
is probably
not white.

The difference between men and women

"I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up."

Futebol ou andebol?

O golo francês que selou o empate (1-1) no jogo França-Irlanda — e o consequente apuramento da equipa francesa para o Mundial de Futebol de 2010 — vai ficar na história burlesca do futebol: antes do passe decisivo para William Gallas, autor do golo, Thierry Henry ajeitou a bola com a mão (por duas vezes!), num estilo digno do mais puro e elegante andebol [em baixo, imagens em movimento].

Mais do que isso: a memória de tão bizarro lance vai entrar também na galeria mitológica do futebol e na eterna discussão sobre o fair play e, em última instância, a dignidade dos gestos de cada atleta.

Enfim, o andebol de Henry tem já lugar garantido no imaginário televisivo da verdade. É apenas um mero golo de um simples jogo de futebol — mas não devemos recusar o prazer de tão luminosa evidência.

E por falar em inequívocas verdades!!!! Mas que grande “joga” foi ontem produzida pela nossa estimada selecção (também ela muitas vezes mártir de injustiças) em Sarajevo!!! Não acham???